" BECAUSE I WANT TO REMEMBERED AS THE GIRL WHO ALWAYS SMILES EVEN WHEN HER HEART IS BROKEN, AND THE ONE THAT COULD ALWAYS BRIGHTEN UP YOUR DAY EVEN IF SHE COULDN'T BRIGHTEN HER OWN. "
Monday, January 25, 2010
hi humans,
i know i haven been updating and the previous post was like a crap. i haven behaving like myself lately. i seriously don't know izit me or just things that had happened around me that make me feel this way. i've been feeling cranky and i have this little feeling in me which i just don't know how to get rid off or deal with it. i've been keeping myself busy with work so that i would not really think about it. so the last few weeks i was busy with work work and more work. i worked everyday from 10am to 9pm daily without taking a break. u may think i am crazy but i just need to occupy myself and make myself busy.
working suck big time but for the sake of it i am enduring it. i miss ALL my friends, the clique, the girlfriends, the hangout partners, shopping partner, whining partner, movie date partner and so muchhhhh moree. i know i have been neglecting u guys but i am sorry, just give me sometimes and we will meet up like we used to be. but at the moment the least things i could do it text u guys. but just remember that i will always be here for u to have a chat or something aite.
the last few days parents fetch me from work so i am lucky tho because there's no need for me to train-ed home and all.(:
i am lost for words now. damn!
okayy please let me let out what i've been bottled up all along.
lovelovelove! everything was a lie all along. i messed up and it wasn't right. i have nightmare about it every night. to some people love is great but to others it is something to hate. this isn't what i wanted, this isn't what it seemed. everything i've been through seems like a big dream. this isn't what i wanted between me and u. but i know i'll never have a another chance ever again. i wish i could tell u how i feel. but doing something like that couldn't be real. but what puzzles me the most was the conscious effort to be connected with the object of affection even if it kills me slowly within.
so if 'leaving' is your decision i will have to accept it. but for once u are a coward because u're living just like that, making yourself disappear.
i'm off.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
i miss them (look up)*
i miss all my friends. and i wish i could upload all my friends photo here but blogger is being sucha ... -.-
nobody want it to happen this way. neither do i.
i just can't faced the fact. i hate it !
***
please leave if u want to break my heart.
i wouldnt want to be hurt no more. i have enough.
i have enough of waiting. please tell me the truth.
i am not strong enough to be left this way.
i dont have the guts to confess and tell u how i feel.
i only can tell u through words and thats it.
i am feeling cranky this few days. and i hate this feeling.
will do a proper blogging the next time, hopefully.
Monday, January 11, 2010
hi humans,
look at the time now. and yes i can't sleep.. i am wide awake.
i can't stop thinking about my result that i will be taking tomorrow or must i say later in the afternoon.
OMG! i am freaking nervous. watever it is i know that i have given my very best.
i just hope that everything gonna be fine.
thanks to all my friends and cousin that have wish me luck because i need all those luck. but the more they wish the more nervous i am getting. DANG !
so. GOOD LUCK TO THOSE WHO GETTING THEIR RESULT TOMORROW ! (:
anyway, working just now and i am super bored to the max.
but i was surprised when i saw my parents came over to my work place. HAHA!
i was stoning and suddenly i saw familiar people. they shopped at the shop i am working then they walk around there to kill time while waiting for me. so i was lucky today no need to take train home.(:
drive to airport for dinner. ate swensen.
actually tomorrow is my off day and planned to go out with some friends but ended up is result day.
what a bummer !
anyway work was kinda okay.. i think now i am kinda get used to the aunty i am working with.
i managed to make her get along with me. maybe not 100% but 65% of it.
i got the urge to shopped but i just don't have the time now.
so packed with work and all.
friends all have been asking me to hang around and meet up with them but unfortunately i only got 1 day off every week.
its really tight. GOSHH ! sorry my friends.
guess what i just can't be bother with what u wanna do now.
its really up to u. i try to understand u but its just too difficult for me.
u will only get to me when u need me. might as well u just stick to the girls that u are having fun with right now.
because i am different i am not like them. get it that straight to your thick skull.
i am trying hard to forget u. there are really a lot of memories but yet i know it is nothing to u.
so why must i waste my time waiting.
tsk.
OHH I MISS MY GIRLFRIENDS ! :(
i'm off people !
(:
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
hi humans,
i am DEAD-BEAT ! i am totally worn out.. just came back from work 1 hour ago.. but thank god today is not as bad as yesterday.
because yesterday sucks to the max. this is what happened when u have aunty as a colleague.. NONO i am not being mean here or what so ever.. i am serious.. maybe not all aunty but some aunty can be sick in the ass.. i am so sorry..
i just stated working there and i didnt know that i have to work with her untill yesterday.
and yesterday she really spoil my mood. she have that not-happy-face. and she will give that-black-face to everybody.
and the way she talk is like u-have-got-me-into-trouble-so-i-am-giving-u-this attitude-voice. yesyesyes i am not kidding here.. but in the way or another i am trying hard to give in to her since she is an aunty.. so i dont really bother about her..
so the only thing i can do is be nice to her no matter how bad her attitude is..
i just want her to get "hooked" to me so that she will be nicer and friendlier to me.. so that the whole point of being good to her.
okay it sounded bad but thats the only way i could get her so that she can get along with me so that we can work better.. RIGHT?!
so today i have been EXTRA SUPER DUPER NICE to her.. i help her with some of her works and i talked to her ALOT like asking question.. i dont care if she dont like to talk, but i just talked to her. beside i am super bored that is one thing..
but at the end of the day i think she is quite comfortable with me.. HAHA !
she even asked me help her to find white hair. and her reason for that is because she gonna cut hair tomorrow and she dont want them to see her white hair. -.- i know right.
but she's not that old. i think around 50 ish . and because i like to talk to her, i know where she live and how many children she have and she told me have shopped for CNY like 1 week ago.. GOSHH !
told my mum about this and she say i am not in the right mind.. HAHHA
beside talking to her, i smile to almost everybody i see at that shopping centre. haha!
anyway, O level result will be out next week 11 january at 2pm. I AM SO DAMN NERVOUS AND I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. NO KIDDING HERE ! OMG, i just hope my result will be as good as what i expected it to be.. please.
its my life mann !
working tomorrow AGAIN !
but i think schooling is much much much more better !
and now i miss school and i miss my classmates ! goshh i miss playing charade in class!!!
anddd i miss my girls ! haven meet them for almost 1 week !
workworkwork ! i thought of quiting but i think i need to challenge myself so i am giving myself 1 month to work there(:
i wanted to try new thing instead of doing F&B all the time but ... always expect the unexpected dude.
arghh! i got the urge the shopp !!!!!
told ya i miss school ! but the photo i just get what i can cos i lazy to find more !
okay enough of crapping.. sleeping soon have to wake up early tomorrow !
wish me luck handling that aunty (:
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY SHARIFAH !!!! (:
i'm off !
Sunday, January 03, 2010
hi humans,
its already 2010 ! cheers for that ! let this post be the first post for 2010..
so 31 Dec 2009 was awesome ! we work, we dance, we went crazy, we have fun, we countdown !
i didn't expect that it going to turn out to be suprerduper fun with all the friends and company. but like people say always expect the unexpected.. so we went back superduper late.. i reached home at 3am.. -.-
so since it is a new year, i wanted this year to be more special.. i don't want the mistake that i make in 2009 to repeat itself..
yea i have make a new resolution for 2010.. and i will try my very best to achieve it..
so the first resolution is to get good result for O level.. and the result will be out real soon.. OMG !
the other resolutions will be kept within me.. hmm.
so like i say i really hope 2010 will be a better year for me..
and so since it is a new year,
i think its better for us not to be closed anymore
i just don't know how to say this
i just can't put my feeling to words.
i wouldn't want to be selfish so i think its better for us not to be closed. i think its better this way
i have tried so hard to put everything in place but u just wouldn't understand me..
no matter how much i tried to show u, u just can't be bothered with that..
so i wouldn't want to waste time on that because i know life is not all about that..
i just hoped u learn, learn to appreciated thing.
picture time but i didn't upload all .
i was dare by them to wear that yellow thingy out..
i was damn paiseyy can because when we were walking and when we board the train everybody was staring at me..
hahha
(:
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY AHMAD NAUFAL !
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JORDAN !
enjoy (: