carry all your thoughts, across the open fields.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Hi humans,
Its already sunday. Why why why must the weekend ends so fast?! I still need some more time to enjoy and relax and do my own revision. I am running out of time. OHH SHUCKS! Time management fazlin time management ! Its already the end of april which means may is around the corner. 5 MORE MONTHS ! OMG! Okay i think i need to cool myself down. HMPH!
Anyway my week was tough but i managed to push myself though. Schooling and working at the same times isn't easy but i need to endure. Everyday i have a super duper long day with classes and working at the same time. Revision = burn midnight oil. I don't care much as long as i managed to study just one chapter for that night.Thats the minimum. Its better then not doing any right?! I woke up as early as 6 am every morning except for weekend but i guess i have already adapt to it. Its just a part and parcel of life i guess. Studying is a priority while working is just a choice. But i am happy with what i am doing. Its not a burden, its not a hassle. I can't wait for pay day. I need to S.H.O.P ! I am running out of clothes. I am serious. ahha . But again i need to save some money. I have a target for myself that end of this year i need to save certain amount of money. :D

Hmm, i think i need to whine. I just sick and tired of having to give in to people like you. Why must it always be me who is at fault?! Why must it always be me who need to take that initiative?! I am sorry if i have neglect the both for you but i thought you know me well enough to know that you guys will always be with me no matter what. Friends does not always need to be with each other , we just need to be in each other mind. Why can't you understand me? Can you just for once try to be in my shoes? Can you feel how i feel? Can you? Just for once. Maybe to you i may not be a good friends but can you please define what is FRIENDS to you? Because to me, i just have come to term with the fact that not everyone of your friends has to be your bestfriend. A lot of your friends are good at certain things. Some friends you love to go out with, some friends you ask for advice, some friends are great to sit with on the couch and watch movie and make you laugh. And some friends are those bestfriends whom you can trust. But it doesn't really mean friends have to be great at everything.
Okay enough i think i should stop here. I guess i gonna spend my sunday doing as much revision as i can.

XOXO

at 2:11 PM

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Hi Grandpa, it's been a year.
I hope you're doing fine.
I still remember you pacing with your walking stick.
And sometimes lifting it up and walking by yourself if it gets too slow.
I still remember during a family picnic, you got lost and all of us went frenzy looking for you.
And one of your grandchildren came back holding you tight, with bruises and cuts on your face and arms.
I still remember me asking,
'Do you speak English?'
And you'd reply,
'No, but I can speak German.'
And you'd break out into a German song.
I still remember how much I broke down, when I saw your face covered with cloth when you went.
And it was one of the most hardest moments of my life.
I still remember the day where we all left the grave with heavy hearts, wet cheeks and faith.
And I miss you.
Please, please tell me it's gonna be alright.

at 12:21 PM

Hi human,
Apology for not updating for quite a long period of time. I was busy with class and work at the mean time. YES WORK ! i have managed to get myself a work. My resume that i send that day was successful. It was a miracle for me though. But having to study and work at the same time isn't as easy as what i think it is. There are a lot of pressure and i was really stress at times. Because i need to rushed for classes and keep on telling myself that i need to focus in class so that i won't dose off. And having to managed my time to study after i came back from work its really really hard. When u're back from work the first thing that is in ur mind is u are tired and u wants to sleep. So that it ! But i just love what i am doing now. I don't even have the mindset that what i have been doing right now is a burden. I was always the girl who wanted to be independent and get ur own money and still get the good grades and have all the friends. But at times i started to realise that i wasn't able to do any of them perfectly. I was trying to divide myself in a lot of ways and each was suffering. I had to realise there is no such thing as perfect- u do the best and have fun. But it took a couple of anxiety attacks to figure that out.

Anyway, last week was the buddies chalet ! And yes i have a lot of fun together since we have not meet up for quite sometimes and spending times with each other. The chalet was a successful i should say. It was really fun eventhough i thought it gonna be weird. HAHA ! ANDAND the cool thing is we did our own buddies shirts. (: THANKS GUYS FOR EVERYTHING !
Its already april. Times really flies. And since i am busy with classes and work i don't really have time to wish all my friends on their birthday. SCREW ME FOR THAT ! I am sorry!
But here u go:
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO: IZZAT, FIONA, SYAFIQ,PUVAN !
HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE TO: JOSEPHINE,FARAHH, KAKAK(: AND YATT.
IF I DID MISS OUT ON ANYBODY ELSE I AM REALLY SORRY BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN.

The week was tough, but i still gotta push on.

at 11:56 AM